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My coffee maker only makes one cup but it's been hissing at me for 30 minutes.

And I have that "What did I do last night that's gonna make most of my friends hate me" feeling I had comple ...

Plustax, try having a lawyer on retainer. It's some kind of magical spell that keeps cops away. Seriously, when a police officer hears "I'm calling my dad's attorney" they back off like you ...

Christ. I drank so much last night I'm not even hungover. Just still drunk. Basic training is not the place to go while hungover, which is what I'll be in an hour.

Here's a question:

Have you ever met a fan that you thought was a little too into you? Like, I imagine during your book tour you met a lot of people that did "zany" things to show how big ...

I'm not sure possessing pot is a right. It should be, though.

That reminds me of the time one of my particularly assholish classmates convinced a substitute teacher that I enjoyed being called Ginger. The sub did it all period too, not even as an insult. Just &q ...

You can go to hell. They just like having fun, and there's nothing wrong or unpunk about that!

I didn't want to make a thread about this, but I'm leaving for basic training on Monday.

So, from now until Monday, we will posting praise for your conquering hero ITT.

You know who I like even though I know deep down that they're for middle school kids and even they don't like them?

Bowling for Soup.

As much as I dislike him, murdering this one homo isn't going to solve anything. We need to find the source.

Have you guys noticed that Mexicanman always shows up whenever Maddox stops posting?

And how Mexicans and Armenians have suspiciously similar brown skin?

Also, notice how Mexicanman is the only ...

I didn't ask you to read it. Just post it on your site.

Also, as much as it seems like I just straight-up hate you, I'm only trying to help.

Azatan Zachary Smith!

I've always wanted a noble title. Even a title from the lowest rung of Armenian nobility would be sweet.

At first I thought the jews were being discriminated against by arabs.

My two favorite foods are butter and salt. I haven't eaten a fresh vegetable in weeks. I weigh 132 pounds at 6'. Can someone tell me what's up with that? I'm going to wait and see if I drop into the m ...

Mehung has yet to post the flame. Could you guys spam him for me?

Or when we all decided that we wanted to be Harry Potter, and the only logical course of action was to sell our souls to Satan?

Remember when life was simple and kids went around ripping sex-debt jelly wristbands off of each other?

Reminds me of "Embrace the Horror" by David Wong. Look it up, because I want this thread to be about that.